I grew up in a family of five. I have a mother and a father, an older brother and a sister. Growing up and going through change is not easy. I do not think it is for anyone. Sometimes, things in life have to be shaken up and changed drastically in order for one to realize that there is more to life. And so, my story begins. Not with my life or story. But with His, the one who loves me more than I can fathom.
I was nine years old when I accepted Christ into my life for the first time. I had been going to church with my family since before I could remember and my parents began to send my sister and I to church camps during the summer. I always knew Jesus loved me and had died on the cross to save my life. I said the prayer asking Jesus to forgive my sins and make me clean. I asked him to save me and come into my heart. Who would have ever thought that at age nine, I would have to learn and grow so much to actually realize what it meant to be saved by grace.
I live a pretty typical life. My life is far from perfect but I get by through the people who love me. Growing up, my Dad was an alcoholic. He was in and out of rehab and I remember my mom staying up late, crying, night after night. I remember going to rehabilitation centers for my sister and I to visit my Dad. I remember the fights my parents would get into. I remember it all. I remember them telling me and Jessica they loved us more than anything on this earth and no matter what, they always would. Growing up, my parents were no where near the perfect parents, but they tried to give my sister and I all they could. And regardless the constant fights they were in, we knew we were loved.
I hit high school and my parents made my sister and I go to a private high school...which we hated! Not to long after the first quarter, we switched to Colton High School where we graduated from in 2006. I had the typical high school experience. I made stupid decision, went through a rebellious stage, broke the rules. Overall, I lived for what I wanted and pushed Christ aside. I never really allowed Him to lead and guide me in the ways that He does. I was selfish and did what I wanted.
High school was tough for me. My senior year was by far the hardest. In October 2006, my high school POD teacher told us his story about having cancer and surviving. Weeks later he was taken out of school and put into a hospital. Shortly after, he died. In November of 2006, my grandfather passed away due to cancer that had spread throughout his body after refusing treatments. In March, a friend of mine passed away after a motor cycle accident in which she was on a bike with her sister, they hit something in the road, and one twin shielded the other from dying. It seemed that nothing was perfect and time and time again, I was loosing the things I loved. During this time I was dating my high school sweetheart. We fell in love and he was who I turned to in times of trouble and strife. I loved him and put him before all things...including Christ. I continued to go to church and bible study, but I was far from living the life I knew Christ had died for.
All through high school I fought constantly with my parents. When it came time for college, I wanted to choose a school that was far enough away from my parents but close enough to my sister. I chose to move down to San Diego and go to SDSU. I thought I would love it. I was a journalism major at my first choice school. What more could I want? I began to party on the weekends with the girls from my dorm and, don't get me wrong, we had a great time. Then I got in contact with someone who was involved in a church and began to go with him for a few weeks. Something was not right. The kids I partied with on the weekends were the ones I saw at church. What the heck was I doing? I decided it was time to go home to my home church on a Sunday morning. I do not remember the message, but I knew that it was time for me to make some changes in my life. And so I did...
At the end of my first semester at SDSU, I came home. I packed up my car and moved completely out of my dorm. My mom and I sat down to decide what I would do next. My choices were simple...California Baptist University or University of Riverside.
CBU is where I ended up. They accepted all of my transfer work and let me start the following semester. I was not excited at first because CBU was not one of my choice schools at all. However, my sister was here and I already knew some people so I figured it was alright.
Within my first year at CBU, Christ revealed a lot of things to me. My long term boyfriend of the time and I broke up and for the first time in a long time I was able to put Christ first. He placed my on my first mission trip team and send me across the Atlantic Ocean to Romania. There Christ showed me how much joy and grace He brings to me.
Psalm 25:21 "May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you."
This was something Christ showed me. My hope is found in Christ. No matter that things that get thrown in throughout life, my hope is found in Christ. He is my place of solitude. I live to serve a savior who is mighty to save; who loves me regardless the ways I mess up. I am not perfect. I mess up day in and day out but Christ forgives me and sets me free. There is no love like this that has no bounds. His love is endless and everlasting. He teaches me to wait upon Him. When I trust him, the bigger picture of life is revealed. Only Christ could write a story as beautiful and full of life as mine.
